Here Come The Tears

Hey, people. This week has been crazy. I have been running back and forth and editing and negotiating… I’m going mad, I tell you, quite mad! My mind is crumbling. My heart is dying. But while I write Van Morrison sings “It Ain’t Easy Being Green.” So it ain’t so bad as I unstring with Van. Maybe I can talk about that.

Eric and I recently got a gig at the big concert hall on December 11th. Lots of people. We will be one of many bands. It will be a black shirt white tie affair. I may shave.

Well, this was immediately on the heels of us finishing our filming for our Revenge video. But wouldn’t it be nice for us to get some live footage, if I can manage to film and perform at the same time? And it has just snowed, so in a few days we can stage a snowball fight. Some nice conceptual images relating to conflict and hell there. Things are shaping up, people. Rock and roll.

But they have a camera and projector so I get to design some background psychedelia to our music and maybe some others. So editing for our video is on the back burner suddenly.

But the most emotionally taxing moment of the past week was something I thought would be fairly easy. Six years ago I began a career as a filmmaker. I got funding for a documentary. Went to the United States and began filming. Well I got a lot of really nice footage. But one of the people I filmed ended up being my wife and I moved to Finland and started a family, and thus ended my career as a filmmaker.

Well, over the years I have edited the material together into a nice little documentary video. Something close to my heart and a part of me. A document about empowerment, about being and expressing in a cold hard world, my first film, an expression of self. And last week I decided I should make it available to the world. So I contacted the people involved and found that that was not an option. This is the equivalent of my life’s work, wrenched from my hands and smashed on the ground. Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but that’s how it felt.

So I haven’t had a nice week. I end this little note with Judas Priest screaming in my ears “Here Come the Tears.” Nevertheless, I had better get back to work.  I will have some blues to sing on the 11th for sure.  Thanks for listening.  I hope everyone else is having a happy holiday season.